5:05 – I've arrived at the Ambassador, and am checking out the costumes my fellow Pep Band members have devised this year.
Per Homecoming tradition, the Pep Band has traded their iconic black and gold striped overalls for the gear of your average hobo. Jeremy “Sunshine” Loucks walks past bearing a sandwich board saying “SINNERS WILL BE DESTROYED – THE END IS NIGH.” The BA's have elected to take the tradition one step further by cross-dressing, some a little...too well. Some members (myself included) have even swapped out their instruments for something more representative of the hobo lifestyle. I will be playing a saucepan cymbal set in lieu of my usual clarinet.
5:14 – Several bored hobos awaiting the start of the parade have created a ball out of recycled copies of the Lode and have started a game of hobo soccer.
5:21 – The mob of hobos finally starts to show some semblance of order, as they enter the street ready to kick off this show. While other groups show off their cars junked beyond recognition, we proudly rally around our “showpiece,” our humble green instrument loading van.
5:27 – And we're off, marching down the street. Actually, I take that back...
One of the few ground rules the Pep Band lays down: marching (even the mere mention thereof) is verboten. Members are permitted to do anything else except that unspeakable act of walking together in step in straight lines...err, sinusoidal curves of very low magnitude. I've seen people show up on skateboards and roller skates. The BA!'s play tag mid-parade while wielding their instruments.
It's a sight to behold, a self-described “amorphous blob” of hobos making its way down the street.
5:33 – The Pep Band, always up on its pop culture, is spoofing the zombie hobo episode of South Park by groaning “chaaaaaaaaaaange...” as they wander down College Avenue.
5:45 – The hobo soccer game is still on, even mid-parade. I am reminded of this as I experience a near-miss with a Lodeball and three hobos attempting to take control of it.
5:52 – I was just passed by a baritone player wearing a styrofoam
cup strapped to his head, with several Pep Band members attempting to
toss cherries into it. I can't even say “just when I thought I'd
seen everything,” because I know I never will with these guys.
5:57 – Parade over. We line up in Lot 9 to get ready for the pep rally. Our esteemed director Nick Enz addresses the band and makes an announcement – after the pep rally, we will be crashing the Board of Trustees meeting in the Rozsa Center. We spend a few minutes plotting our entrance strategy.
6:05 – And here comes the big cargo: a Moyle Construction flatbed semi carrying the stars of the weekend, the Michigan Tech football team.
6:10 – Football coach Tom Kearly encourages the band to “do anything that won't get us a penalty” to help the team win.
Many members of the band consider themselves part and parcel of home field/court/ice advantage, willing to do anything they can to make life miserable for the opposition. I, of course, am one of them. Any attention a player may pay to our antics and taunting is attention he is NOT paying to the game at hand. Stealing that attention is considered a victory to us.
6:20 – The rally has ended and everyone begins to saunter off. The football team, however, is having none of it. They realize something very important hasn't had a chance to strut their stuff at this pep rally yet. They're looking our way and screaming for us to come over and play. We gladly oblige, and Nick Enz conducts the Fight Song from the bed of the semi.
6:27 – We sneak, as stealthily as a few hundred hobos carrying musical instruments can, to the Rozsa parking lot and wait for our cue to strike the Board of Trustees meeting. Student director Neil Wisniewski passes the time by feeding the band a string of the corniest jokes he can think of.
6:30 – CHARGE! The crowd inside is quite receptive to our rendition of “In Heaven There Is No Beer” as it rings through the lobby of the Rozsa.
6:35 – And just as fast as we came, we leave. Mission accomplished. Time to go home.
FOOTBALL
GAME SATURDAY
12:15 – I pull into the parking lot and walk to our warmup area to discover a random hobo lying in the street bound in Saran Wrap and duct tape. Eh, it happens.
12:23 – The referees walk past the band on their way to Sherman Field. It is our civic duty to play “Three Blind Mice” at this point. After they are out of the way, it's time to do a quick warm-up and start the trip up to the field.
12:36 – Our amorphous blob is now on its way up to the field, set to its intro cadence which ends in front of the stands in a cool remix of "Also Sprach Zarathustra" (better known as the theme from 2001: A Space Odyssey.)
A short pre-game show follows, then the hats come off as the joint Army and Air Force ROTC present the colors and we follow up with our national anthem.
1:00 – To the stands! As you might imagine by now, chaos immediately breaks out once we arrive at our home base. The more hardcore of us assume a standing position directly behind the end zone, cheer on the team, talk about the game and heckle anything that moves.
1:27 – The smattering of Ferris fans in attendance are chanting “defense, defense.” The couple hundred of us counter over the top with “offense, offense.” Not in our house, guys.
1:55 – Halftime. Tech has gutted its way to a 7-0 lead over Ferris in a gritty, defensive battle.
It's time for the presentation of our Homecoming Court. Interestingly
enough, the Pep Band itself has managed to get a candidate in the running
for King – trumpet player “Handsome” Rob Hambrock.
2:05 – Rob gets snubbed for Homecoming King. The men and women in stripes make their feelings known...
“This game's rigged! This game's rigged! This game's rigged!”
2:08 – Time is thin as the Homecoming Court ceremony ate much of halftime, but we have enough to take the field and serenade the Homecoming King and Queen. And what better tune to do that with than the David Rose classic “The Stripper?”
2:10 – Back to the stands we go, after a brief stop-off to create a tunnel full of noise and support for the returning football team.
2:32 – Behind me, another Pep Band tradition has started up – Rookie Games. The rookies of the various sections compete in events of physical prowess such as leap frog, relish packet stomping for distance, the scavenger hunt and the burnt pancake toss.
2:55 - Uh-oh. Another poor set of cheerleaders just fell victim to one of the Pep Band's more humiliating traditions: the sunshining. Imagine yourself walking down the street, minding your own business. Now imagine a few dozen people descending on you out of nowhere, locking arms in a circle around you and singing “You Are My Sunshine” loudly and horribly out of key. And, to add insult to injury, they sing another verse on bended knee extending their hats. If you are a mascot, cheerleader, Homecoming Queen candidate, provider of foodstuffs, campus dignitary, statue or tree or we just feel like it, don't let us surround you or it's curtains. Black and gold striped curtains, to be exact.
3:30 – And that's your ballgame! Michigan Tech is victorious 21-7. The Pep Band stays around for one last song to see the fans off, then its members scatter off to parts unknown, waiting for their next chance to show their stuff.
We may not be a big-time marching band, with impeccable uniforms and precision drill charts. We may not ever get a chance to play at the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade. To us, that's okay - we would probably rather barge unannounced into Macy's itself and start riding up and down the escalators playing No Beer. It's this unbridled spirit, the desire to create our own fun and make people expect the unexpected that make the Pep Band what it is. And that is why it has been my pleasure to be a member throughout my career at Tech. There is truly nothing like it in the world.
